That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize