Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
