i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
