we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
