New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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