I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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