tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I believe in your delicious
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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