Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
