fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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