Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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