How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
