ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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