His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
