The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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