Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
