in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize