this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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