Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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