Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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