Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
