it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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