also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There r osticjed everywhere
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Randomize
