yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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