how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
