Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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