6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
