my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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