Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
