Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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