So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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