I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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