This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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