I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It's Friday. Sex?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize