Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
