I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
