i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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