I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Randomize
