Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
