I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
