We're like a lot better than the average bears
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize