Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's blow job season.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
