Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
