The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
