he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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