The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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