I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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