My first STD was from a foam party
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
