How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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