Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How does one acquire holy water?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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