I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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