new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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