Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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