VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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