Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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