You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
