Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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