i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
