my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like a drive thru vagina
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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