if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
