we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
