PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
