the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
