Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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