The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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