he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize