But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
