she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
