Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
