Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
