Are we in a gay sports bar?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
