i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
