I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
