I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
