I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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