You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
