I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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