I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
