he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
