Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
