Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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